On Pursuing A Relationship
When thinking about who to marry (or pursue a relationship with), what do you look for in that person? Good looks? Sense of humor? Chemistry? There are so many voices out there (even some of our close friends) that tell us to focus on this or that. But what is biblical wisdom on this? I recently heard in a sermon a quote by J.C. Ryle that might be really helpful for us to consider:
“Remember this in choosing a husband or a wife, if you are unmarried. It is not enough that your eye is pleased, that your tastes are met, that your mind finds likeability and friendliness, that there is affection. There needs to be something more than this. There is a life yet to come. Think of your immortal soul. Will it be helped upwards or dragged downwards by the union you are planning? Will it be made more heavenly, or more earthly, drawn nearer to Christ, or to the world? Will your faith grow or will it decay? I pray you, as Baxter said, ‘Think and think and think again before you commit yourself.” J.C. Ryle
Do you agree? Disagree? As you consider pursuing a relationship, what criteria do you have? Let me know your thoughts.
A very wise person pointed out a verse to me today that I found helpful. 1 Tim 3:2-7 (for guys) and, of course, Prov 31:10-31 (for ladies). These are the Biblical standards that we should be looking for in a spouse. Its a high mark to shoot for, and since we’re all sinners, none of us is perfect or has arrived at this standard. But, in light of that, how do we respond to sin and blind spots being pointed out in our lives? Humbly? Teachably? With a desire to grow and glorify God, or with selfish motives, or a “band-aid” approach? Realizing this was both convicting and encouraging for me.
Pursuing a relationship with Christ should be our highest goal, and we want to draw near to God.
As single people, we have time to invest in study and service and fellowship. But the courting season is a very busy season. You will probably have less time to read books, go on personal retreats, and spend with friends.
Both people need to be seeking to draw near to Christ in the relationship, to encourage each other. When considering a courting relationship it is really important to consider biblical values; in yourself, and then also in the other person’s life.
And I would also encourage you to think about your direction in life. Is it upwards? It seems very important to me in this season, that can be so busy, to consider if our minds and hearts are still hoping heaven more than anything else.