“Is my marriage glorifying to God?”

It’s often been said that the best thing parents can do for their kids is love Christ passionately and have a great marriage.
Theologian Andreas Köstenberger points out that asking, “Do I have a good marriage?” might be the wrong question. Better: “Is my marriage glorifying God?” He elaborates:

Rather than viewing having a good marriage as an end in itself, or using a human, relative standard of comparing our marriages with those of others or with some ideal set up by some popular current book on the subject, the goal of a God-glorifying marriage grounds the relationship with our spouse where it ought to be grounded: in the eternal, sovereign plan of God.

So, “Is my marriage glorifying God?” Dr. Köstenberger offers three criteria for evaluation:

1. Both spouses are growing in Christ
2. Both spouses are bearing fruit
3. The marriage is between Spirit-filled disciples of Christ

In a marriage like this, the husband and wife are too busy growing in Christ and serving him in tandem, and with their family, than to ask, “Do we have a good marriage?” A good marriage they have, but not because having a good marriage is ultimately their aspiration, but because anything we do in life that seeks to bring honor and glory to God (including how we conduct our marriage) will result in blessing.

Does this seem like an unrealistic goal? The painful reality of sin may make this at times feel unobtainable. But Ephesians 5 teaches us that marriage is a profound mystery, representing the relationship between Christ and his church. So we can pray and grow with confidence that God is not reluctant to answer prayers for our marriages.

First step: objective evaluation. Ask your spouse how you’re both doing, especially in number 1 and 2. Then, get others involved. Caregroup is a great place to start. Remember that “anything we do in life that seeks to bring honor and glory to God will result in blessing.”

Categories: Thursday Thoughts For Parents, five15 blog