What is the most valuable thing in the world to you? Here is one way to find out: try to imagine that your house is on fire (don’t worry: your family and pets are safe). What do you grab as you run out of the house. What is the one thing you most want to rescue from the flames?

How you answer that question will help you understand the rather odd verses that we looked at Saturday night in Drivers Ed Part 6: No U-Turn (Proverbs on Words). We looked at Proverbs 25:11-12:

A word fitly spoken
is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.
Like a gold ring or an ornament of gold
is a wise reprover to a listening ear.

These verses teach us an important lesson: words matter. And they matter in two directions: we need to be careful how we speak and careful how we listen. A word fitly spoken means using our words to serve others and glorify God. As one theologian explains:

“[A word fitly spoken] is to speak the right word to the right person at the right time.” Tremper Longman, Proverbs, 453.

And this is important because we have in our power the ability to speak words of tremendous value (apples of gold = whatever you plucked from the raging inferno, they are that valuable) or utter worthlessness. Part of the redeeming work of Jesus Christ is to transform how we use our words:

“Speaking in a way that serves the needs of others is at the heart of God’s will for us, and his enabling grace makes it possible.” Paul Tripp, War of Words, 209.

If verse 11 makes it clear that it matters how we speak, verse 12 is all about how we listen. What is in view here is far more thank just physically hearing others speak to us:

“Further, the idea of ‘hearing’ in the Bible does not only mean listening, it means listening and following up with right action.” Mark Dever, The Message of the Old Testament, 520.

A reprover is someone who brings correction (or advice or instruction, in some cases). For teens, the best ones in your world for this is your parents. As helpful as it can be to get input or advice from your peers, the fact is that they just don’t have the goods to give you dependable counsel for the long-haul. You need the wisdom and experience that God has given to you in your parents.

Two Christmases ago, my family laughed as Jack showed more interest in the boxes his gifts came in than the valuable gifts themselves. What is funny in a toddler’s Christmas is tragic in a teen’s relationships. If you are not currently benefitting from the advice, counsel, and instruction of your parents, something is broken. Come see me or one of the other pastors; we would love to help you fix what is broken.

The perspective of these two verses is that words matter, so we need to be careful how we speak and how we listen. Not that that’s easy to do. In fact, it is only possible through the transforming grace of Jesus Christ. But this is what the gospel gets done in our lives. If we are going to claim to follow Christ, it means that every area of life will be transformed by his grace and power.

Here are a couple questions for further discussion:

1. What is the most valuable thing in the world to you? Has there ever been a time when someone told you your words were that valuable to them? Was there ever at time when someone else’s words were that valuable to you?
2. What is a reprover? Who does that in your life?
3. How often do you act on what you hear? Why is that?
4. Are you able to humbly consider what others point out as sin in your life or do you deny rationalize, shift the blame, or wallow in your failure? Explain.
5. [Parents, ask your teens:] What do I do that makes it difficult for you to listen to me?
6. [Teens, ask your parents:] How could I do a better job listening to you and acting on what you tell me?
7. How has Christ promised through the gospel to help you change the sinful ways you use words?

Categories: Drivers Ed, five15 blog