CHAPTER 11: A THOUSAND YOUNG HEROES

Who did a hard thing this week?

• Read the last paragraph on page 184. Let’s encourage some people in this room. Who do you know that is doing this?
• Which of the stories in this chapter did you find most inspiring? Why?
• After reading the stories in this chapter, dream big for a minute. What do you want to do?

From the OFFICIAL STUDY GUIDE:

• Alex and Brett write, “Thousands of young people whose examples defy silly labels like ‘ordinary’ or ‘exceptional’ are creating a whole new set of expectations.” Would you say that right now you (a) definitely, (b) mostly, (c) a little, or (d) not at all want to be a part of the movement the brothers describe? If you are hesitant, describe what is holding you back.
• Which of the stories in this chapter meant the most to you personally? Why?
• In telling Zach’s story, the guys write: “Zach had found a cause that was big¬ger than his fear.” What is the biggest fear that is keeping you from becoming a change maker for Christ? Where do you think that fear comes from? What does it tell you about yourself?
• Jazzy’s big change happened when she moved from “rebel” to “rebelutionary.” Which side of that choice are you on right now? Why?
• In nearly all the stories in this chapter, the “unlikely heroes” simply said “Yes, God” to a need or an opportunity that was right in front of them. Do you sense God showing you a similar need or opportunity? If so, what is it? How do you plan to respond?

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Some questions for further discussion on today’s chapter:

CHAPTER 10: GENERATION RISING

• What does it mean to be salt and light? Is it easier to be salt (fighting against sin) or light (fighting for truth)?
• What are the “three pillars of the Rebelution” (p. 176)? Which of these is hardest for you?
• What is John Piper’s definition of a holy ambition? Do you have a holy ambition?

From the OFFICIAL STUDY GUIDE:

• Conner Cress’s normal life got turned upside down one day when he encountered pictures of hungry, hopeless children. Have you ever had a similar experience that changed how you saw the world? If so, talk about it.
• Do you see signs in your life and among your friends that teens today want to make a real difference in the world? If so, what do you notice?
• The brothers deliver a mission statement for rebelutionaries: “We are change makers who influence our world both as salt and light. That is to say, we influence our world both by fighting against sin, suffering and decay and by fighting for truth and justice.” In what ways are you already engaged in these fights? In what new ways do you think God is inviting you to engage?
• On pages 176 to 179, Alex and Brett talk about how we need character, competence, and collaboration to truly succeed in our endeavor. Do you agree? Which pillar comes hardest for you, and why?
• If you were to identify one passion as your “holy ambition,” what would it be? Do others know about it? If so, do you feel supported by them? How could knowing your holy ambition help you make decisions and set priorities in the months and years ahead?

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Some questions from Sunday and some more for home:CHAPTER 9: TAKING A STAND

• On page 151, Alex and Brett explain, “a changed heart will result in a changed life.” [Whiteboard:] What are some of the changes in a teenager’s life that we should expect to see after conversion?
• Read the paragraph on page 154 that starts with “When we…” Describe a situation in which you took a stand for God and suffered for it in some way. How was God at work in that situation?
• What do Alex and Brett mean when they say, “the right thing, though hard, really is the smartest—and in many ways the easier thing.” (p. 155) What do they mean by this? Explain why you agree or disagree.
• The section on page 157 and following is packed with wisdom. Have you ever taken a stand for something that wasn’t really worth taking a stand for?
• Of the six steps on page 157ff, were there any that surprised you? Which one is hardest for you, and why?
• From page 164: Is there a stand you know you should be taking but haven’t? [Discuss at home with Dad and Mom:] Is there something in your life you know is wrong but continue to do?

From the OFFICIAL STUDY GUIDE:

• When Eva decided to live for Christ, she had to make choices that isolated her from her friends. Have you ever had a similar experience? If so, talk about it.
• Do you think it’s harder to take a stand for what’s right around friends who say they are Christians or around friends who don’t? What are some of the different challenges in each case?
• Can you think of an example of a Christian you know who took a stand on an issue but made a choice that didn’t seem wise to you—and perhaps the outcome wasn’t positive either? If so, describe what happened. Apply¬ing the authors’ principles listed on page 157, how could that person have made a wiser choice?
• Alex and Brett include a letter from a guy who mostly disagreed with the values of the Modesty Survey but admired how the site responded to critics. Do the Christians you observe generally deal with critics respectfully, or generally not? If so, how? If not, how could they improve?
• Is there a stand you know you should be taking but haven’t? What are you willing to do about it, starting now?

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Some questions related to today’s chapter:

CHAPTER 8: SMALL HARD THINGS

• p. 134 – “Sometimes the smallest hard things can be the hardest things of all.” What are small hard things that are hard for you? If they are small, why are hard? See page 135-136. Which of these excuses do you use most?
• What about the five ways we fail to do small hard things? Which is most common for you?
• What is the danger in thinking, “I’ll get serious about that later on”?
• Explain the connection between privilege and responsibility. What does this have to do with Doing Small Hard Things?
• How are small hard things like an individual pushup?

From the OFFICIAL STUDY GUIDE:

• Have you ever felt like Joanna—“ready and motivated to tackle something big and exciting, but stuck against your will in a seemingly endless round of chores”? If so, talk about it. Why do you think small hard things can be so hard for teens?
• What are the small hard things you struggle with most? Describe some of the self-talk that goes on in your head that makes doing those tasks even harder.
• On pages 135-137, the authors identify the top five reasons why doing small tasks is so hard, as well as five ways we tend to respond in not-so-rebelutionary ways. Talk about the five reasons and come up with a rebelutionary response to each.
• How could doing everything for God’s glory (see 1 Corinthians 10:31) radically influence how you think about and complete small hard things?
• See what you come up with in response to this three-step suggestion from page 143: “Do you have a big goal for your life that you can’t achieve without a commitment to small hard things? (1) Write down your big goal. Then (2) write out the small hard things that help you achieve it—and (3) how faithfully do¬ing those small hard things now will help you achieve your dream later.”

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Here are some of the questions we discussed this morning, and some we didn’t get to:

CHAPTER 7: THE POWER OF COLLABORATION

• “American popular lore tries to persuade us that our destiny was won only by rugged individuals…” (p.110) Give some examples. How many stories from American history, movies, or books can you think of where groups of people got the job done?
• Do you think it’s true that “you are who you hang out with”? (p. 120). How can friends make it easier or harder to Do Hard Things?
• #5 – Treasure Constructive Criticism. (124) Why is it sometimes a Hard Thing to receive criticism. How can the Bible change the way we think about that?
• What do you think Alex and Brett’s dad means when he says, “The church runs on regular.”? (126)

From the OFFICIAL STUDY GUIDE:

• Have you ever cared a lot about a project only to drop it because you couldn’t do it alone? If so, talk about that. What might have happened differently if you’d had a team around you to help accomplish that goal?
• Have you ever experienced the extra energy or impact a team can generate—in sports, drama, or some other setting? If so, what was it like?
• Alex and Brett talk about how important it is for teens to “walk with the wise.” What do they mean by this principle, and why does it matter?
• All of us have been on some kind of team: sports, academic, community, church, or work. What, in your experience, makes the good ones terrific and the bad ones miserable?
• As you were reading this chapter, did a “too big for just me” but important goal come to mind? How could you act on that thought or desire? (Hint: Begin with the first thing the authors learned about teams: “Start with questions.”)

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Here were some of the questions we used on Sunday morning, and some we didn’t get to:

CHAPTER 6: RAISING THE BAR

• Who did something hard this week?
• What is complacency? How would you know it if you saw it in someone else?
• Remember the story about mark on page 93? Have you ever used something that you’re good at to make excuses for not doing things that are hard for you?
• Pg. 95: how can doing hard things have an eternal impact for the sake of the gospel? How can asking that question every day make a difference in your life?
• What do Alex and Brett mean when they say that we need to be known not by what we don’t do but by what we do? Do you think you’re more known by what you don’t do or by what you do? Explain.
• Assignment: go through the questions on page 101-102 with your parents.

From the Official Do Hard Things Study Guide:

• The Bible says, “The complacency of fools destroys them.” Do you think it’s possible to be popular, smart, and successful and still be complacent and foolish? If so, how?
• Most teens show above-average abilities in at least one area. According to Alex and Brett, what’s the danger of defining ourselves by that one area?
• “Don’t do bad stuff” can easily be the default standard of excellence in church circles. Do you see any problem with that? Talk about it.
• Go through the questions on pages 101 and 102. Talk about your answers.
• If you decided to measure every area of your life by “excellence, not excuses,” what kinds of changes would the people around you start to notice?

Since I wasn’t there on Sunday, tell me how it went!

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Here were some of the questions we used on Sunday morning, and some we didn’t get to:

CHAPTER 5: THE FIRST SCARY STEP

• Who did something hard this week?
• Alex and Brett say that life is full of scary things. What would be the scariest thing you can imagine doing?
• Pg. 66: “Can you imagine something in your won life that at the time seemed entirely beyond you?”
• Pg. 69: “Fears are usually just well-concealed lies.” How are we believing lies when we don’t do hard things? Make four columns: What I fear. Lie I’m believing. Truth God gives me. Action.
• Pg. 71: What are some of the excuses you make for not doing hard things?
• Pg. 74: “It’s not about feeling strong: it’s about obeying God.” How do our feelings keep us from obeying God by doing hard things?

From the Official Do Hard Things Study Guide:

• Would you say that fear of failure or discomfort affects you (a) not at all, (b) a little, (c) often, or (d) all the time? Talk about your answer.
• Identify the areas in your life where you try hardest to stay in your “cozy little routines.” In each case, what negative outcome are you most afraid of? What very positive outcome might come about if you took that first scary step despite your fears?
• Most of us associate words like faith and courage with positive feelings. But Alex and Brett write that many who choose to act out of faith or courage actually experience intensely negative feelings, such as fear, un¬certainty, worry, and doubt. If you have ever made a courageous choice but felt terrible while you were making it, talk about it. What happened? What did you learn?
• Why might God be able to accomplish more through us when we act in spite of our weaknesses rather than out of our confidence or strength?

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Here are some of the questions we discussed on Sunday morning, and some we didn’t get to:

• Who did something hard this week?
• On page 47, a guy named Raymond says, “I don’t want the future to get here too quick. I want to be able to live life and still have fun.” Does doing hard things mean you never have fun, but instead only do hard and unpleasant things?
• Alex and Brett say (p. 49), “what each of will become later in life largely depends on what we become now.” Do you think that is true? What is wrong with the “I’ll get to that later” idea? (1 Tim 4:7)
• What is a kidult? Without naming names, do you know a kidult? What are they like?
• How do you keep from becoming a kidult?
• What do you know about William Wilberforce? Have you seen Amazing Grace?
• Read the paragraph in the middle of page 56. Write down: what do you hope to become in the future? What can you do right now to equip yourself for that future?
• Read the five kinds of hard on pp. 57-58. List a couple of hard things that fit under each category.

From the Official Do Hard Things Study Guide:

• Do you know a “kidult” like Ray? Describe his or her life. Do you think there’s anything that anyone could say to this “Ray” that would motivate him or her to change direction? If so, what? If not, why not?
• The authors write, “What each of us will become later in life largely depends on what we become now.” Do you agree or disagree? What might a mature adult who knows you well say you are becoming?
• The “strict training” Alex and Brett talk about doesn’t sound appeal¬ing at first. But what might be some payoffs from that kind of discipline in your life now, and your dreams for your future?
• Which of the five hard things that the authors list motivates you the most? Why?
• What are some of the hard things you’ve already done in your life? What were the results? What would you say you learned through these experiences?

ASSIGNMENT FOR NEXT TIME:

• Memorize 1 Timothy 4:12.
• Discuss with your parents: “What is God calling you to become in the future? What do you want to become in the future? What are simple, realistic steps you can take now to prepare for that?
• Read chapter 5.

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Here were some of the questions we used on Sunday morning, and some we didn’t get to:

CHAPTER 3: THE MYTH OF ADOLESCENCE

• Alex and Brett begin this chapter by talking about pets they had (and didn’t have) growing up. What is the strangest pet you’ve ever owned?
• What did Alex and Brett mean when they suggest that today’s teenagers might be like elephants?
• Were you surprised to learn that teenager is a fairly new word in the English language? Why did that surprise you?
• What are some of the ways our “modern understanding of adolescence allows, encourages, and even trains young people to remain childish for much longer than necessary”?
• Alex and Brett explain: “Once we have satisfied the minimum requirements, we tend to stop pushing ourselves.” What are the minimum requirements in your life?
• What are some was that young men do hard things differently than young women do hard things?

From the Official Do Hard Things Study Guide:

• Have you ever visited a zoo, seen beautiful and powerful animals caged by glass or bars, and felt that something was terribly wrong? If so, talk about it. Why do you think some teens might identify with a wild but caged bird or animal?
• Do you think that harmless-sounding lies about the teen years could be holding back both you and other teens you know? Talk about it.
• What was your reaction to the stories of George, David, and Clara (pages 31-32)? Have you ever thought you could accomplish a lot more than you are now?
• What do your parents expect you to do at home in an average week? Do you deliver? Be honest. How much time and effort does it take to do what’s asked of you? Do you think your parents require too much or too little?
• Have you ever found yourself behaving very differently—and accomplishing a lot more—simply because someone expected you to? Describe the experience.

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From this morning, plus some others we didn’t get to:

• Page 18 says, “Big dreams come with big challenges.” Write down in two columns: What are your big dreams? What are the big challenges keeping your big dreams?
• The brothers write on page 19, “A campaign—like any movement or revolution—isn’t really a faceless mass. It’s a collection of individuals who join together on the same cause for a reason. It’s ordinary people who decide to step out and be part of something big. That’s when they become extraordinary.” What’s the biggest thing you’ve ever been a part of?
• If you didn’t say the church for the last question, you should have! Do you think of yourself as joined together on the same cause with other Christians to build the church? Or are you here because your parents are here? What would it take for you to own this? What is the reason behind this cause that we are giving ourselves to (the church?)
• On page 21, a girl named Heidi explains, “During this whole campaign, God had been doing amazing things. I think I have grown more in these past few months than the whole year before.” Describe a time in your life when you grow significantly in spiritual ways. What contributed to this growth? What is holding you back from growing now?

From the Official DHT Study Guide:

• Looking back, do you see a season, a book, or an event that changed what you believe or how you live? If so, talk about it. How are you different now?
• One teen told Alex and Brett, “Everyone I know at school is shackled by low expectations.” Could you say the same thing? If so, talk about why.
• Have you ever found yourself responsible for a task that seemed too big for you to succeed at? If so, what happened? Did that experience turn out to be a bad thing or a good thing in your life?
• History shows that youth movements against God-established authority have generally not amounted to much. How do the authors set their message apart from such movements?

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